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Most of their black female counterparts were single, and often voiced concern, and were the subject of conversation particularly among their mothers.In conversations with many of the black mothers, they expressed their frustration about the dating and marriage prospects of their daughters, while the black mothers with sons noted that the males were pursued by women of various racial/ethnic groups.For example, there’s the story of Celeste, a 29-year-old woman who never considered dating outside her own race but when she did, she found her relationship with a white man to exceed her expectations.Judice said it’s common for black women to not consider dating white men for a few reasons, including historical tensions and a lack of positive black female representation in the media. where black women have been touted as the most desirable romantic partners? “Generally speaking, the idolized version of an American beauty is a white woman who is thin and blonde and blue-eyed.” And then there’s the story of Denise and Todd, a married couple whose marriage survived despite having different socioeconomic backgrounds and difficulties with families echoing harmful stereotypes.
This is not a new problem; indeed, it goes back several decades but there hasn’t been much public discussion about how to resolve this issue.First, the number of black females begin to outnumber black males by age 16; for whites, this does not happen until approximately age 32.Second, black men are more than twice as likely as black women to marry outside of the race, black women are the least likely group of women to marry outside of the race.Third, for every 100 college educated black females, there are approximately thirty-five to forty comparably educated black males.
These statistics underscore a sobering reality that set the parameters for this book.To be sure, many of these women lead productive and fulfilling lives without ever marrying, some even decide to have children without husbands, but a common thread I have observed among many is a wistfulness for a part of life which has been denied to them…a part of life all other groups of women take for granted.